Quick, Let’s Figure A Strategy For Monetizing Our Errors

Background Reading

Summary

Pokémon Go mania seems to have taken firm hold, as players armed with their smartphones go hunting for cute fictional creatures to capture.

However, the widely popular game was put in less-than-positive light recently when it was associated with a road accident earlier this week.

In Pennsylvania, a teenager named Autumn Deiseroth was hit by a car while crossing a busy highway after capturing a Pokémon—according to her mother, Tracy Nolan, “The Pokémon game took her across a major highway at 5 o’clock in the evening, which is rush hour,”.

Nolan is now urging other parents not to let their children play the augmented reality game—her daughter suffered brushing and minor injuries, and has since deleted the app from her phone.

Watch the video below to learn more—do you think that Pokémon Go could be blamed for this accident?

Here is a link to the video (we cannot embed it on the page yet).


TakeAways

You just knew this was going to happen, sooner or later. What is likely to occur is that somebody somewhere will eventually get around to trying to lay claim to the sort of things bicycle lawyers are great at. They will get injured or if not injured killed and their heirs or grieving parents/family will want to sue.

Pokemon Go Screen Shot

Pokemon Go Screen Shot

Now before you start rolling your eyes, realize that we are attempting to fund and drive the creation of bicycle lanes all over the United States using a variation on this theme. We know that the kinds of bike lanes we have been getting do not work. But we are kind of afraid to ask for too much too soon.

So what we do is lie in wait for the next opportunity to plant a ‘ghost bike‘ and then turn on the ‘crocodile tears‘ full blast. We have friends who work for various media outlets and they scurry over for a chance to film us chaining a bike to a post and then setting down flowers and candles.

There is sometimes even a retreat to our favorite watering hole where we weep and drink and then try to drive our bikes home in a clouded mental state while chanting ‘Beer is the Answer‘. And while this sort of thing is ‘bad form‘ it can (should one of us get injured or killed on the way home) an increased opportunity to press for ‘more bike lanes‘. Of course what we should be asking for are ‘segregated bikeways‘, but they cost a heck of a lot more to create.

The problem here is that we are torn between trying to create a ‘tipping point‘ that can lead to the ‘final solution‘ versus sitting down in the streets and demanding good bicycle infrastructure. I know that sounds insane, but I honestly think that is where we are. After all what else would you call the creation of bike lanes that have PVC bollards screwed into the tarmac, but stupid.

But we put up with all of this because we are convinced that putting down roots on streets is the only alternative we have. It is not. If we can build LFT flyovers and walkways along the Chicago River then we understand the basic concept of segregating slow-moving traffic from faster. But to do this properly means having to further segregate bicycles from pedestrians to insure that the sillier cyclists in our midst don’t blow it for the rest of us by hitting strollers from the rear and leaving the scene just like their cousins in motorcars.

We Are Doing What We Claim Is Not Necessary

The final bit of craziness in this world of bicycle advocacy is that by waiting around until someone gets killed or maimed we are in fact proving that increased traffic from bicycles in the current settings is almost a guarantee that injury and death will result. In fact we are betting our bicycling future on it.

Crazy, huh? Who would play that version of Russian Roulette and act as if they were not? We are. But in the meantime, you will notice that lawyers are sniffing around sounding as if they really gave a damn about us, while knowing that they need to make a buck sooner than later because if their plaintiff cases dry up, they will have to go out and find new sources of revenue. And whatever will the bicycling advocates do when there is no longer a need for them to attract us via registration drives and funding efforts?

You gotta love the fact that the folks who are ‘helping us get well‘ are mixing a bit of crap in with the medicine they are peddling. Slick. Gosh, I wonder if any of these folks own stock in Nintendo? Nah, that would be horribly unethical, right?