Let’s Fight Fire-with-Fire


That same crowd that professes not to know anything about the ‘War On Cars‘ is once again trying to prove themselves liars. They want to dump ‘drive-throughs‘. This is a bit ironic because every time a cyclist attempts to use a drive-through here in the Windy City and is rebuffed, they cry foul! You would think that they would avoid drive-throughs to serve as role models for motorists. But no, what they really want to do is wage a guerrilla war against cars while flying the flag of the Sustainable Environment.

Now of course it has dawned on these same folks that their wish to see fossil fuel use consumption drop has been something of a ‘dumb idea‘. It is as if they were the mistresses of very wealthy men. But because these guys are cheating on them, they want to strike back. So they figure a way to sabotage the earning rates of the companies they own.

But these gals forgot to figure in the possibility that their monthly payments from their lovers would drop as a result of the lower profits of the companies these men own. So what is their solution? Well they want to go to court to ask for a higher allowance and unlimited use of the credit cards given to them. Of course nothing is said in the lawsuit about the wives and children of the men and the pain and suffering they have sustained.

So Let’s Have A Tax Trade

Urban Cyclists are veritable booze hounds. They are single-handedly keeping the micro-brewery segment of the alcohol industry alive. So for every dollar added to the gasoline tax, we add two dollars to the cost of beer made from craft breweries. Ouch!

But then to really stick it to these pompous self-absorbed types, let’s vote in a licensing fee for bicycling and while we are at it let’s make them pay for their own bicycling infrastructure improvements.

For instance I would gladly welcome the notion that no private bicycles were allowed in city streets in any metropolitan area. In fact it would be either BikeShare or the sidewalk on foot. Of course here in Chicago we have a pretty large mass transit system, so they could take buses or trains to work as well.

And if the knuckleheads decided to push back against having to use BikeShare then it would be necessary for them to pay a toll for the use of any protected bike lanes. Each private bike owner have to buy a transponder like the ones used on the tollways here in Illinois and then along their route to work they would have to pass through ‘open-road‘ toll gates.

And because there is special equipment required to clear snow from these tiny lanes, it would help pay for that equipment. But again a license plate would be required to pass through the gates that guard the lanes. All of these current luxuries would have a cost.

And in exchange for losing their parking spaces in the city, and drivers who decided to use BikeShare would be eligible for free parking. But if you decide to ride your private bike to the office, then you have to pay for parking just like any car owner would. We could pro-rate the parking costs to perhaps a third of what is being charged per automobile, but they too would have to pay.

Oh and no we would not be reopening the ‘drive-throughs‘ they were able to get closed. Instead they would have to climb off their bikes and walk their bulky butts up to the counter to purchase their subscription medicines just like the drivers. Boo-hoo!