Somebody Check To See If The Apocalypse Has Begun

Background Reading

Summary

Jason Rantz says Seattle Police Officer Glen Mulkey has been handing out a ton of bike tickets to people breaking the law. And he should be celebrated for saving lives.(AP file photo)

Jason Rantz says Seattle Police Officer Glen Mulkey has been handing out a ton of bike tickets to people breaking the law. And he should be celebrated for saving lives.(AP file photo)


TakeAways

On one of the more obscure cycling forums I follow a fellow was ranting about why bicyclists should always be allowed to ‘do what they want‘. As it turns out he feels that:

  • saving the planet’s gasoline reserves
  • freeing up parking in the downtown areas
  • lessening the general congestion of the highways
  • decreasing the overall costs for road repair
  • and so much more…

were all good reasons why bicyclists should never have to stop at stop signs. In fact he had come up with a rather interesting ‘pecking order‘ which included pedestrians. Both pedestrians and cyclists should never have to stop at a stop sign. Those given the supreme right-of-way he thought should be pedestrians, followed by cyclists.

I had to laugh. I know for certain that here in Chicago, pedestrians are treated by cyclists as basically vermin around whom you have to dodge to keep your tires clean. In fact I would take a nickel for ever instance in which a bicycle entered the protected crosswalk while pedestrians were in it and simply ‘split‘ them.

In fact pedestrians who are unaware of the approach of a cyclist (especially those on fixed gear death traps) are startled when the bearded hipster with the tattoos and nose rings and braided armpits comes slicing through. And that is just the female hipsters. The guys are a bit easier to detect because of the extreme body odor.

But at any rate we know how to treat these folks here in Chicago. We keep an eye open and as was done in the most recent episode of Chicago Fire (when a couple from Portland came to complain about the noise emanating from Molly’s Bar) we just ignore the bastards. After all if they can act like assholes during their beloved Critical Mass Rides and slap the hoods of cars and scream at the tops of their tiny lungs ‘Happy Friday‘, why bother taking them seriously?

Well one cop did. And the knucklehead who pulled that bullshit move got handcuffed and driven into the station. I guess that even lawyers forget that the crap that gets a ‘blind eye turned‘ from it on Critical Mass Rides is not something that passes for anything but stupid during the rest of the month.

Good on the cops!

It is high time that these petulant little assholes had to live in the ‘real world‘. It is time for everybody to get ticketed for failing to ‘yield the right of way‘. And no, there are no freebies because you ride with clean socks and your farts don’t smell. You screw up and you get a ticket. It is that simple.

Sheesh! What kind of generation did we raise in the past 25 years or so?