Who Wants Complete Streets?

Background Reading


This presentation shows that millenials want roads to be “right sized” and streets to be “complete.” Of course they do.

This presentation shows that millenials want roads to be “right sized” and streets to be “complete.” Of course they do.


Ouch! This guy is ‘calling a spade a spade‘. There is absolutely nothing about the Urban Cycling Movement that could have been pulled off by the black-and-brown populations in big cities (on their own). The first thing out of the mouths of most of the ‘elites‘ would have been, why?

After all we have mass transit for these people. If they want to get to work, fine. Take the bus. Or take the light rail option that everyone else takes. But why should streets be altered so that a few unkempt folks on ratty bikes can ply the streets on a year round basis at a cost that is in the millions?

In fact that is the question that should be asked of the current ‘children of the elites‘ who style themselves as an oppressed minority and trounce around in hair extensions taken from the head of someone with ‘nappy hair‘. Add to that the idea of them inserting a few oddly-placed nose rings, piercings and some really god-awful tattoos and you have the ‘new oppressed minority‘.

Only thing is when they get tired of ‘playing ghetto dwellers‘ they can remove their beards, shave their legs and armpits, unscrew the piercings and nose rings and have their tattoos removed and voila they are back to being ‘elites‘. You gotta love that ‘popup participation in the lives of the downtrodden‘.

Chicago's Cycling Movement Issues A Leftist Manifesto

Chicago’s Cycling Movement Issues A Leftist Manifesto

But wait (as they say in the commercials) there’s more! If you act right now you can have all the street parking in your community halved or better yet eliminated because well, we said so! We have a Socialist Plan which like the myriads tried and found wanting in the 1950s Soviet Union we are gonna try here. And when like the massive Chicago high-rise public housing projects of that same era we find them wanting we will tear them down and stand around for photo-ops (what we do best) and rail against the Establishment for letting them fail (what we do best).

Meanwhile everyone else will have been paying through the nose for all the red-light, speed cameras and flying drones that this kookie generation of misfits has decided will help their 1% stay safe on the streets until yet another financial crisis hits the city and things will have to ‘get settled‘ between the mayor and governor or else we will all flounder. Tired of the silliness, yet?

Take Back Your City

You can sit idly by and let these cranks on two wheels try and dictate how the future should look. Or you can stand behind the likes of Ms. Pritzker and tell the ‘jerk wads‘ to buzz off.

I am all for ‘forward thinking‘. But I cannot abide, ‘self-serving idealism‘ that has no real purpose. This generation of bicyclists has created little. They are not the ones who will become the power-brokers of the future. Nope they will be fumbling around in the dark on their shabby bikes trying to find the best place to score some weed before heading off to a pretentious evening of microbrewery beer sampling.

Long live the macro-brewers who invest real money in creating jobs and will hopefully be around long enough to pay their taxes. Trendy is for ‘sissies‘ and guys who wear their skinny jeans a little too tight for my taste.

Time to get back to a place and time when razors (for both genders) had some meaning. I am more than tired of looking up from by coffee and seeing a ‘braided hairy armpit‘ that belongs on a male arm but isn’t.

Time for the pompous 1% to get off its collective butts and actually ‘do something‘. Right now the ‘rock stars‘ of this generation are affiliated in some way with a news outlet. But do they ‘make anything‘? Hell, no! They have soft hands and even softer brains.

Their idea of deep thinking is to run for a book on Road Diets to curl up with on a cold night. Exciting stuff, yeah?

Keep these folks out of your neighborhoods if you hope to have a neat front yard and any resale value for your home. Otherwise let them wreck your streets and redo your crosswalks at the same rate as your 8-year old daughter wants to redo your hair. Let all those tax dollars go fluttering down the storm sewer along with any hope of ever having a balanced budget.

Live with these yokels at your own peril.