Can These People Even Float?

Background Reading


African-American swimmers took the top three finishes in a single event at the Women’s Division 1 NCAA Championship this weekend, a feat recognized by the national governing body of swimming in the United States with a celebratory tweet.

Freshman phenom Simone Manuel of Stanford set an NCAA, American, U.S. Open, Championship and Pool record when she clocked a time of 46.09 in the women’s 100 yard freestyle.

Manuel’s Stanford teammate Lia Neal came in second place with a time of 47.13. (Fans may recall that Neal won a bronze medal in the 4×100 free relay at the 2012 Olympic Games in London.)

The University of Florida’s Natalie Hinds swam a time of 47.24. Hinds reset her own-school record in the event during competition.

Teammates Manuel and Neal spoke to Swimming World magazine about their game plan before winning 400 yard freestyle relay, Neal revealing her exhaustion. “We were talking about it before the relay, we were gonna go until it hurt. If it hurt that meant that we were doing something right,” she said.

Neal led the first leg of the race and Manuel anchored it, breaking the American record in the relay by 2 seconds and the US Open/NCAA Record by a full second.


Having been a lifeguard while working at Owasippe Boy Scout Camp in my youth it was not until I reached college that I learned that African-Americans were not only unable to swim, we evidently ‘could not float‘ either. I wish someone had told me before then, I might have tried out for other sports.

Of course it should be remembered that before we ever played sports we were supposed to not be smart enough for the purpose. But then afterwards the general wisdom was that sports were all that we were fit for.

So it is with great suspicion that this report about three African-American women comes to me. This has to be a ‘put up job‘ by the Liberal Press. I suspect there is some sort of ploy for bike lanes embedded in this story. Will have to stay up late tonight to see what sort of secret messages are found between the lines.

Seriously, this is great news! But really, since none of us can float, how was this made possible? Were they all wearing Apple Watch Flotation Devices or something? Inquiring minds wanna know. Does this mean the end of the world as we know it? Most certainly it signals that Ted Cruz has a shot at replacing Obama, right?