The Organizational Boor : Every Bike Club Has One


Human Body Parts

Human Body Parts

No organization I have ever been a part of has managed to avoid the reality that groups functions in the same fashion as do multi-celled organisms of all kinds.

For instance every organism has to have hands or their equivalent, else they cannot do work or even feed themselves. Most have eyes and ears to gather information about the outside world. And few get by without a stomach or a mouth.

But when these organisms eat they also have to well, poop and pee. The poop and pee activities in organizations often are performed by very disagreeable sorts.

The Tyranny Of Group Email

You can always tell which members of a group have decided to be the anus. They take advantage of the fact that a group which has a single email source is made up of folks limited largely to three options:

  • They can simply avoid ‘logging in‘ to request emails at all. And instead lumber over to the club site to view as much stuff as they wish (or for that matter as little).
  • They can ‘log in‘ and request a single upload of mail that appears (usually) every 12 hours. That keeps them from inundating their already overloaded mailbox at work or home.
  • They can be ‘log in‘ and request that every single email sent reaches them as soon as possible. That is of course a recipe for ‘time wasting‘.

But if you are bored, under-employed or retired or ‘simply an anus‘ you probably fit in that third category. People who have real lives choose the second category. And the first category is reserved for the poor souls who either cannot figure out how to ‘log in‘ or are (like myself) control freaks who wish to keep the ‘blather storm‘ at arms length where possible.

Boors And Anuses Unite

Most boors are simply attention-starved individuals who find group gathering stressful. So when they get into conversations they end up blathering. It is a nervous reaction. Some even try to quash the urge by taking onboard more than their fair share of libations. Always try and leave the party ‘before’ they do to get home in one piece.

The anus is altogether another creature. They could care less if anyone in the room or on the email list is tolerating their blathering very well. They are in essence aggressive blatherers. If confronted about their bad habits, there are always newly minted sycophants who will rise to their defense and that is just as it should be (in the minds of the anuses of the world).

How To Fix This Problem

Bicycle clubs really have it all wrong when they fail to provide a social media context for their members. The beauty of Facebook is that I can serve as an anus for as long or as much as I care to. If my ‘followers‘ get bored, they let me know by dropping my, like a ‘bad habit‘.

Group emails are nice as one-way vehicles. In my experience they work a best if they are a bit like the intercom at school. The principal (bless his heart) delivers a message at judicious moments and leaves off when done. This does not work when the quirky science teacher (that would be me) tries to fire up the microphone every goddam time his ass itches to dispense with tidbits of science or vocabulary words of the day. Pretty soon the teachers who are trying to conduct their own classes are going to either want a turn at the microphone or demand that that school anus, STFU.

Don’t be an anus! Demand that the club provide you with your own soapbox (a blog account) and have everyone that wishes to kiss up to your ass go there for their daily turn at listening to your nonsense. That is the chief reason I have my own web blog. If you arrive at my site and hate the crap I dispense, then do what your momma taught you to do, leave!

What makes no sense at all is for you to complain that you were offended. Or intimate that somehow on your blog, I have managed to create several accounts and am using them to disrupt the bullshit fest that you are conducting. I ain’t. It takes up enough of my time to brew up this swill without bother to remember yet another password.

So Rather Than Being A Dick, Be A Blogger

If you have that dreaded disease diarrhea of the mouth/fingers/and brain clean up the problem by keeping that crap to yourself. Open a FREE blog if you have to.

Then announce to the group (for the last goddam time) that your wisdom is being dispensed at this or that URL. Then fire up the old keyboard and write all the bullshit about your best friends adoration of you and you of him and all that sort of thing. List every goddam bike you own and how much you paid for it. Tell people to join you for drinks each and every happy hour of the year. Hold personal giveaways to the less fortunate readers who care to visit your site.

But please, once you have your own forum, STFU on the club email list. Fair is fair!