ChainLink : Spinning The Indefensible…

Background Reading


The 'Punksterette' Writes Again!

The ‘Punksterette’ Writes Again!

Well this is one letter I had not anticipated. It shows at least two (2) things about the ChainLink Forum:

  • The place is full of paranoid beings who are afraid of even their own shadows
  • They have simply lost their sense of humor

It turns out that kris is evidently the same person featured on the ChainLink a short while ago ‘who just moved in from Iowa‘. Use the link above to follow the merriment.

How This Differs From Michelle’s Episode

I did not follow the Kris episode for very long. Just long enough to learn that she managed to ‘con‘ a few of the male chauvinists who frequent the ChainLink Forum. These are the ‘man-splaining‘ types like James BlackHeron who now evidently goes by Self-sealing Stembolt or is it ‘white-washed manhole cover‘? I always get these new names mixed up. Either way he loves to flaunt himself whenever possible and it really irks him that I mess around with his name.

Well evidently are Kris was ‘discovered‘ the soul-less moderators banned even her from their presence. I do not recall any shouting match going on that would have warranted anything approaching being banned. But as I said, this is a group where the ‘fun in cycling‘ has come down to that scene from the 1984 Super Bowl advertisement from Apple.

They really do take themselves quite seriously. So much so that should you embarrass them at their own game, ‘you pay the ultimate price‘. It was from this group that I learned from people like Michelle Stenzel that even professional bicyclists are not on the same level as urban commuters? She went so far as to produce a very nice drawn but ‘sillyVenn Diagram to help those of us too dull-witted to understand what she was going on about.

What these knuckleheads value most is their position in the Cosmos with respect to suffering. Remember the essay I wrote the other day about the ‘Carpenter and the Lens Maker‘? Well Urban Cyclists are so ‘full of themselves‘ that novices like Michelle Stenzel ranked their collective suffering above that of even Tour de France participants? Yikes! As absurd as that sounds it really is the kind of drivel them tell themselves over beers.

But the reality if far different. On a per capita basis riding the streets of Chicago is safer than even the Netherlands!? Yet you never hear this because without their constant haranguing about ‘safety‘ and the need for more of it City Hall would have a very hard time indeed getting folks in the neighborhoods to allow the installation of ‘bike lanes‘ and at the high costs involved. So we ‘shuck and jive‘ the general public to get our way and then retire to the ChainLink Forum to congratulate ourselves in the privacy of our very own ‘virtual bathroom stall‘.

What I mean by that phrase is that we think somehow that saying nasty, evil things in the perceived privacy of the completely own threads of the ChainLink Forum somehow entitles us to be as vulgar and as unwelcoming to the outside world as possible. And for that reason if you ‘punk the punsters‘ and I write about your successful foray into ‘doxing the doxsters‘ you end up getting removed from their list of ‘those who will enter the kingdom‘. Oops! My bad! I meant to say the ‘list of active members‘.

Looking Forward

Maybe it is time to have another web-based alternative to the ChainLink Forum? I envision something which is Google-based. You use their Google Calendar to post your rides and events. You use their Google Groups application as the basis for your discussion groups. And there are of course other applications which allow you to archive documents (Google Docs) which members of the group could write, movies (YouTube) they could produce and images (Picasa – Google) are all available under one roof. Somebody ought to jump on this.

Here’s why:

  • It’s Free! It costs absolutely nothing. Did I mention it is FREE!
  • It can be run via a collective. There are no overlords with white hair and paunches who are the pulling strings of their short, balding thugs. Instead it is merely real people who are having fun trading information.
  • Google Calendar is great because it can be run as a giant overlay of many calendars. That way your events can appear alongside other groups but you have complete control of your own calendar.
  • People without a plan for world domination, just plain folks need someplace to go to get things done. Anything Google-based is essentially open to the Planet. Why not have a discussion group that extends to places like Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Peking, Mexico City and even that fourth rate city Portland? Sorry, Portland just could not resist the dig.

This needs to be conducted by a woman or a guy with his head on straight. Better yet a group of women or one with a few guys tossed in for appearances sake. Anybody over 30 years of age should be made to strip down to their skivvies and checked for calcification. And no one is allowed to join the group who does not have a sense of humor or is at least intent on gaining one.

Aside from that ‘thugs need not apply‘. Everyone on the list must be committed to thinking about civility first and the exchange of ideas afterwards. No one should be allowed to not contribute something, anything. You cannot lurk here. You have to be a participant. OK, got carried away with rules when that was not my intent.

So any takers? By the way, ‘I am well past my sell by date‘. The difference between me and your average oldster on the ChainLink Forum is that I know that I am useless at the advanced age of 65 and am comfortable in the knowledge. And no I have no illusions about personal suffering or in the belief that ‘bike lanes‘ will make your breath sweet, your hair curly and you teeth whiter. And goodness knows that anybody not willing to admit that millions of dollars of pretty green paint and PVC bollards has absolutely nothing to do with ‘safety‘.

Oh and so long as we are telling the truth on ourselves, I favor:

  • riding with lights front and rear
  • waiting at stop lights and stopping at red octagonal shaped pieced of metal
  • having the Idaho Stop Law only when everyone gets to enjoy it alongside cyclists
  • not trying to ride through or over pedestrians so that I can arrive at work before the cars can
  • believe that bicycles are clumsy, antiquated means of getting to and from a destination, but they are fun nevertheless
  • wish that bicycle parking was more visually appealing. Nothing is harder on the eyes that a pile of bikes locked in a heap and blocking the sidewalk
  • finding solutions for bicycles that allow cars to continue to operate alongside us without fear of some sort of conspiracy with City Hall to abandon them
  • dropping the notion of alcohol-related fundraising events for bicycling
  • operating a bicycle without being intoxicated
  • and being willing to admit that the sun does not shine out of my ass just because I ride a bicycle