Now From The Same ‘Knuckleheads” Who Ordained Green Paint On Pavement


Did you ever get the feeling that the Cycling Movement is being run by a bunch of white guys with their heads up their asses and Excel spreadsheets full of errors? So the Europeans convince us that we need to paint at least two lanes of our current roadways green and bolt on PVC piping to make the whole thing safer for everyone. Of course my first question is which asshole in Copenhagen or Amsterdam has an uncle in the green paint business? And which of these two countries is supplying the specially treated PVC piping we are now using?

The new bollards are triangular in shape and have nice pretty reflective tape at the top. Some guy in that business is making a fortune. So these same assholes who could not win their last two wars without our help come knocking with “proof” that helmets do nothing to provide safety. I would have rather asked how the hell does green paint provide safety, but that would have been rude, right? So getting on with things we now have a missive from on high that we should get rid of our helmets.

(Note: This same crowd invented the seat belt and the crush zone.)

OK. I am getting a strong whiff of snake oil folks. I always get this when I hear the likes of Ron Burke pontificate on the benefits of green paint on pavement in saving lives. I know the folks in New York last year got a bit of bad news about their infrastructure and everyone decided it was the fault of the Russians that the data was not what it should have been. Why do we keep listening to people who cannot get a damned rocket on the Moon?

Is there something about European words that sound better to the ears of white males in this country? I dunno, but I’m keeping my helmet. It helps tie my outfit and shoe color scheme together. Besides I would need to wear something with a brim to keep the glare down, so why not. Besides my uncle is in the helmet business and my aunt has developed a nifty line of screaming yellow vests. And if you want to keep listening to the Ron and Gabe Show it’s always better if you wear one of the new tinfoil hats I have designed to increase your reception.